Blame it on the heat

I've been on my "re-introduction" stages for the past few days.

June 1-3: non-gluten grains like rice and oats

• Showed no reaction to these things. 
• Everything seemed normal as it was the last few weeks.

June 4-6: cheeses like mozzarella, cheddar and queso (whatever kind of cheese that is!)

• Terrible experience! 
• I had the worst cramping and bloating. Even though it was incredibly uncomfortable from day one, I kept trying different kinds of cheeses to see which ones effected me most . Mozzarella wins the most painful award. That's probably why I can't eat pizza.

June 6: Gluten grains

Today was my last day at work until September.  I have the summer off and I'm not a teacher! WOO! (But, I don't get paid like a teacher would. BOO)  My coworkers took me to my restaurant of choice: Galaxy Cafe. I am in love with their chicken salad sandwich on ciabatta. I intentionally waited until today to reintroduce glutens because I knew this day was coming.  Lunch was delicious and I didn't have any major issues.  After work, I headed downtown for my orchestra concert.

Before I could take the stage, I had to fuel up.  I stupidly went to Taco Cabana for dinner because it was fast and cheap, a temptation I usually fell into before Whole 30. I ordered two chicken tacos with shredded cheese on flour tortillas.  It was delicious but I certainly felt the effects later. My stomach was cramping and it felt generally uncomfortable.  When I got to the stage, the sun was blaring down on us.  I tried really hard to stay out of the direct sun, but we had to rehearse a little before the 8pm start time.  I spent about 20 minutes in direct sun and about 45 minutes in the 90 degree heat. Not a big deal for most people, but I have a heat sensitivity and I've noticed it tonight more than I ever.

I struggled to focus on what I was doing.  I tried to play my violin the best I could and every measure I had to tell myself, "just concentrate really hard on what you are doing." Telling myself just distracted me more because I would get upset that I was distracted in the first place.  I struggled to play this music that was relatively simple.

"What time signature is this?"

"Is this note supposed to be flat or sharp?"

"A page turn? Oh yea, just a few measures late."

At first, I blamed it on the gluten in the taco. But that didn't seem to make much sense because I had only eaten it maybe an hour before.  It didn't dawn on me that the heat had caused my brain fog.  Many websites call it "decreased cognitive function."  It was like I was looking at this music for the first time.  My fingers were struggling to keep up with the tempo and I kept missing notes that I've never missed before. I felt like I was dreaming or something, like I wasn't even present at that moment.  After the first half, I went inside where there was some A/C and cooled off a bit.  The sun had set and it wasn't so hot anymore so the second half of the concert was better than the first. My brain seemed to return towards the end of the concert.  I can't say I played it perfectly, but that's probably not because of the heat!

To top it all off, by the end of the concert, my hands were swollen and my joints were really hurting. It took the drive home for them to stop aching. When I got home, I was irritable and snippy with Josh.  I lost it to tears in frustration for tonight's poor performance.

I felt so out of control of my body.  No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my brain to do what it needed to do. Sometimes I feel like screaming. Crying. Giving up. I have moments where I just want everyone to feel so sorry for my life and how much of a struggle it is.  But then I snap out of it, open my web browser and blog about it. :) It's pretty therapeutic to share with you my ups and downs with this stupid thing called MS.

I am really hoping that I don't have a similar experience tomorrow night.  I am going to bring cold water, and stay out of the sun until the last possible section. (Dario will understand, right?)

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I've been a member of the Austin Civic Orchestra since I moved here in 2009.  I've loved being a part of this group.  I'm even on the Board of Directors serving as the secretary.  It's been really fun and I'm proud to serve.  Tomorrow night we play another 70's Pop Music Concert at Zilker Hillside Theater.  I encourage all of you to bring a picnic, some blankets and chairs and your significant other and come out to the park for a fun, FREE concert! Dogs are welcome!  I hope to see you there tomorrow.  If you do come, please say hello during intermission! The concert starts at 8pm!

Thanks for "listening."