Rituals

Austin Civic Orchestra, May 2023 at Bates Recital Hall, University of Texas at Austin

I have a ritual on Tuesdays.  It’s something that I do each week during the school year; something that I’ve done faithfully for the last 15 years.  It brings me immense joy, even if it’s a pain to carve out the time in my schedule. Each Tuesday, I attend rehearsal as a violinist in the Austin Civic Orchestra. 

Each week is different, yet feels the same- I sit down at my chair in a public high school band hall that smells strongly like spit from emptied spit valves and has a lingering smell of teenaged sweat mixed with body splash. We wait for the minute-hand to hit the quarter hour after seven and watch the concertmistress call our 90 piece orchestra to order. We silence our side conversations and listen closely for the oboe player to articulate the perfect A, 440 hz to be exact, to which I attempt to precisely match my A string on my violin. Once all my stings are tuned, I silently wait for our conductor to begin rehearsal, lifting her arms for the downbeat. 

We work together to prefect messy sections of a piece. We adjust our tempos and tweak our dynamics. We take corrections on style and interpretation all in an attempt to stay true to the composer’s intent while simultaneously making it our own. At the end of the rehearsal cycle, we perform to an audience of 400 fellow classical music lovers who appreciate the work we put into bringing a piece to life. It’s a high unlike anything else I get to do.  

80's pop concert at Zilker Hillside Theater, June 2014ish

This is my ritual. Every Tuesday night I have the privilege to make beautiful music alongside brilliant musicians. Being in the Austin Civic Orchestra isn’t just about me and my own playing.  I belong to something bigger than myself.  My commitment to it can’t waiver when I don’t feel like going. It requires me to show up when I don’t want to, or when I’m overly exhausted from the long day before and I’d rather stay home and read a book. I belong to a group that expects my presence and where absences are noticed. I am expected to do the work of practice before showing up for rehearsal so my sound contributes to the whole instead of distracts from it. Our orchestra needs every single member present to achieve it’s goal of producing quality classical music for our audiences. If one person doesn’t show up, it effects the entire group.  Imagine Rhapsody in Blue without the clarinet solo, a John Williams piece without the brass, or Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade without the violin solo.  Without the whole, our sound will never match what a composer intended.  All of us are needed. 

ACO 2nd violins with Dr. Lois Ferrari

I feel like the church is a lot like this- a group of people who love Jesus, working together with a common purpose to bring God’s love and light into the world.  The church needs everyone to be all in to further the call of love from our Creator.  We need the whole to work alongside each other, working towards a common purpose of creating  something beautiful for the world.  And we all know that finding motivation to show up day after day can be incredibly challenging. The work isn’t easy and requires a lot from us, not just time, but emotional availability and vulnerability.  Doing church requires us to have humility, selflessness, and it gets uncomfortable sometimes. And just like musicians in an orchestra, church-goers make mistakes, too.   They play on rests, articulate notes incorrectly, and play out of time when they stop looking at the conductor for guidance. Humans say the wrong things, neglect other’s feelings, and renege on their commitments. 

But in church, no one quite cares for each other the way the church does.  I’ve sat next to the same few 2nd violinists for a decade and a half and have never had the privilege of knowing them deeper than surface level conversations. The church is a unique place, where people live life together.  It’s filled with messy people with real hurts, fears, and life problems.  It’s filled with people who want to belong to something bigger.  We all want to feel noticed, and we want someone to miss us when we’re gone. Church communities have the privilege and responsibly of being this to each other- to hold tight to our values as Christians while simultaneously walking alongside each other in the orchestra of life.

Why do you attend and participate in church? Do you feel missed when you aren’t there? How often do you reach out to someone when you notice they are missing from their pew? How can we do better to belong to each other, to be a community of people committed to each other while we work alongside each other for God’s mission?  How can we create something beautiful together?

May we all recognize that individually, you are a very important part of church. You matter.   You are wanted here. But together with God’s guidance, we can be a force of beauty, community, kindness, and love for our deeply fractured world. 

Will you join alongside me?